Blockbusters and Fails Ranked by How Many Bucks They EarnedBy Susan E
Watching movies is the new reading. All you have to do is sit in front of a screen and pick the alternate reality you want to be transported to. Intergalactic, Jupiter, Elms Street, or a series of rundown motels – you can travel far and wide with just a touch of a button. But with all the movies you have free to access, you might wonder just how much profit each one has made. Is it a box-office flop or hit? See how much your favorite film made when it premiered on the big screen. From iconic movies like Sahara, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., and Blade Runner, you’ll want to go on a movie binge after reading this! While also avoiding the lower-ranked movies… You’re welcome.
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Quentin Tarantino is the American Guy Ritchie. So expect this movie to be an odd delight. Two hitmen have philosophical discussions while putting slugs between people’s eyes. Samuel Jackson, Bruce Willis, John Travolta, and Uma Thurman – a stellar cast for a relatively low-budget film – that is $8.5 million.
Yet it scored $213 million, and rightfully so! There’s a unique banter and exchange between the two thugs, an actress, a boxer, their gangster boss, a master fixer, “Pumpkin” and “Honey Bunny.” There is also riveting action and a catchy soundtrack.
An up-and-coming, ambitious boxer sets his eyes on the heavy-weight belt and puts in the thrusts, punches, and dodges to claim it. Get ready to raise your pain threshold because this is one sight that’ll be worth the bruise.
This American boxing drama is a gorgeous, triumphant underdog story. Others claim it’s the greatest sports film of all time with its superb direction, editing, acting, cinematography, and setting. Well, it better be since it was loosely inspired by Chuck Wepner, who had fought Ali.
Star Wars: A New Hope (1977)
You shouldn’t be surprised – Hans down, this movie is the best there is! Hans Solo and Luke Skywalker team up to rescue Princess Leia, who is held captive by the dark force lord Darth Vader. Fans claim it is perfect!
But if you want to understand how it all occurred, start with the prequel trilogy – The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith. Then learn more about Solo. Watch Rogue One, then the sequel trilogy released from 1977 onward.
The Terminator (1984)
I’ll be back. Oh, we have been! A machine assassin is sent from the future to kill a mother of a child who’d grow up to lead an uprising against them. In this race against time, Sarah Conner and her son Kyle must survive to keep Skynet, an artificial intelligence system, from being launched.
The pacing is brilliant. The hits and liquefaction processes are jaw-dropping. And it makes us rethink whether we should consider building AI at all. We can always rely on an operating system glitch for androids to side with us.
Evan Almighty (2012)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $88,000,000. Let’s face it; we would rather rewatch him in the 40-year-old Virgin. We don’t want to remember him as Noah. God might have intentionally scheduled a worldwide flood just to keep us from watching this flop of biblical proportions.
It’s not like Steve Carell didn’t put in the effort; it’s just that the scriptwriters probably did not. There’s just a lack of writing explanation and punchlines to endear viewers to laugh at the tragic flooding of the world. O’Neil of the Guardian wrote avoid like the ten plagues.
Ellen Page is the absolute embodiment of Juno. We can’t imagine anyone else saying those lines with adolescent confidence; that is until she gets accidentally knocked up. Bummer, it had been her first time…and his, if we remember correctly.
But why do we love it? Juno grapples with a lot of life decisions in a matter of months. It portrays such a social issue in a comedic, identifiable way – not that we’re saying motherhood is a light matter. And by the end of it, you’ll have had come of age too!
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $90,000,000.. The strays are sent sprawling through the streets with a wind of bad reviews. We had always wanted to watch it, especially after seeing the trailer. But both the critics and the big three rates it as disappointing. It’s nowhere near the broadway classic.
It had so many celebrities in it – Idris Elba, Judi Dench, and Taylor Swift. And yet it had failed for lack of time! After watching it, you’d say none of the rival tribes deserves to ascend to Heaviside Layer. You would simply be met with a litterbox of hairballs.
The Wolfman (2010)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $76,000,000 – $80,000,000.This American horror film is about an actor who was bitten and cursed by a werewolf. He had just come home to his ancestral homeland, and this was the welcome he had received. Ouch! Viewers state that there are copious amounts of blood and CGI, but it’s a mere update of the 1941 original.
What it had lacked in script and substance it had made up for special effects. Did they think we wouldn’t see right through it? Despite the intriguing synopsis, Rotten Tomatoes states there is a surprising lack of genuine chills. Now don’t let that stop you from watching it.
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $76,000,000 – $81,000,000.This American war film was produced by John Woo. It had an all-star cast featuring Mark Ruffalo, Nicolas Cage, and Christian Slater. So why’d it turned out to be a flop? And what was it about?
Marine officers were tasked to protect Navajo code operators. The Navajo Code is a language the Japanese can’t crack. If they should fail, the marine officer must kill the code talker to keep the enemy from getting ahold of the secret weapon. Despite the promising background, sources say special effects were poor and that the ending was pitiful.
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
This is not the type of film you’d expect to become a hit. But because we have been fed up with stories about jocks and prom queens, a comedy film revolving around an awkward alienated teen is refreshing! He befriends a Hispanic boy and campaign for the latter’s presidency
What’s great about this satisfyingly humorous movie is that it keeps us laughing with Napoleon, not at him, said by Minow. Wouldn’t you want to be one in on the laughs? Relive high school – that awkward space in your memory you’ve long suppressed. It isn’t going to be as bad this time around.
Blade Runner 2049 (2017)
Despite getting high reviews from the big three, this movie had an estimated nominal loss of $80,000,000. Is it because we can only imagine Gosling as a Noah Calhoun in The Notebook? What is a romantic doing as a blade runner for the Los Angeles Police Department? Critics say it’s visually exhilarating, but the two-hour-and-forty-four-minute movie can never be considered as artificially intelligent.
Ouch. This is not a future we would want to find ourselves in. We had hoped that since Harrison Ford was in the movie, someone would be able to carry the load, but the double dynamite failed to amaze. What an implosion!
Lost in Translation (2003)
A meaningful bond is forged between a conflicted newlywed and a rusty movie star in the bright lights of Tokyo, Japan. This comedy-drama was written and directed by Sofia Coppola. So yes, you should expect that it would be a hit!
Pertaining to words lacking full meaning when translated – that just sums up how we feel when watching this movie. We can’t ruin the synopsis for you, because it’s an entirely individual process – one that you and only you can appreciate.
The Alamo (2004)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $94,000,000. A general organizes a rebel army to free Texas from its brute-of-a-leader, General Santa Anna. Both forces come to an unsettling, historic standoff at a mission penned as the Alamo. At least, it had Billy Bob Thornton in it.
It has mixed reviews. Some say it suffers from bad writing, the untimely introduction of characters, and choppy editing. At the same time, others say that the desperation of the people in the Alamo was impeccably done. A en masse effort had made it. Way to go for toppling a dictator
XXX: State of the Union (2005)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $78,000,000. Darius Stone contentedly serves his sentence when he receives a phone call from his mentor. He is asked to bring down a group of terrorists who infiltrated the system upon having been trained by one high-ranking official. This 2005 movie was a sequel, but it had dimmed in contrast to the previous installment.
What had caused it to perform so miserably? Predictability. We can expect guns, action, and a tolerable amount of violence, but the dialogue and acting were strained. Some say that this film was dull and unimaginative. Why hire a street gangster with poor self-control when a Navy Seal or KSK soldier could have done it efficiently?
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Directors hired relatively unknown actors to star and who did improv well. The movie was shot in only eight days, but concept-making took them nearly four years. They had lied to the actors about the Blair Witch Legend.
They would purposely rattle the actors during nightfall, but they wouldn’t have any contact with them whatsoever. They’d only give specific instructions by notes to leave the footage at a certain location. We would have gone crazy by then.
Friday the 13th Part 2
This movie did not perform as well as the original, but it still grossed over 20 times the $1.25 million budget. A slasher killer lives in people’s dreams, flashbacks, and hallucinations. Jason Vorhees’ kill count rises as everyone disbelieved the tale.
He inflicts damage in the most terrifying way- when you’re asleep and when you’re desperate to wake up. Rubbing your eyes won’t work, nor will that pre-set alarm. Don’t wait for those claws to awaken you; you’d be bleeding by then.
Fantastic Four (2015)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $80,000,000 – $100,000,000. Based on the comics, four outsiders are transported to an alternate universe where they garner superhuman powers – Mr. Fantastic, The Thing, The Human Torch, and the Invisible woman. Well, the only thing we wish that had gone invisible was the whole movie.
Too bad Grimm, but we hope all things are just as hard when it’s needed. If you have watched it, the best few minutes were when they gained those superpowers. Just what are they going to do with it? And as the story progresses, we’re left wondering, is that it?
Seventh Son (2015)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $85,000,000. If you introduced yourself as the seventh son of the seventh son, you better be prepared to make up for the mystique you have just caused. Otherwise, that impression is going to suck; we mean stick for the rest of your existence. That’s what happened with this film adaptation of The Spook’s Apprentice
Because he was born as such, he was given special powers. Imagine that – an unbroken line with no female siblings, and you get to be bestowed with immense potential simply because of your birth order. Not even a kid could be engaged. How about booking a clown for the party.
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $86,000,000 – $150,000,000. Has Hollywood run out of original, creative juices? It keeps making worse remakes and book adaptations! Peter is whisked away to Neverland, where he meets his friend Hook and Tiger Lily. They take up crocodiles, fences, and pixie dust to save Neverland from Blackbeard.
Upon watching this film, you would be thankful you grew up. Along the years you would have made several mistakes which you would have had the opportunity of correcting, unlike this film. How about we just read the book. There are podcasts for that now.
A Wrinkle In Time (2018)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $86,000,000 – $106,000,000. We watched the trailer. We thought it was promising – that it would live up to the books especially when Oprah was in it. But no, we just wasted our milk money to make our bums sore. How about we iron that wrinkle so that this mistake never happen again?
Meg and her brother travel using a tesseract and arrive at a magical planet far away. They befriend a few astral travelers who guide them into the heart of the planet…all while battling evil of course. If you have read the book, you would feel a lack of deep Christian overtones. It’s like it wasn’t even a book adaptation.
Just the color tones would have you hooked! Metacritic has rated it 99% whereas Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 98%! But what was it about? It narrates the story of Chiron, a black man, during the three defining chapters of his life as he transitions from youth to manhood.
It features an all-black cast and won the Oscar for Best Picture as an LGBTQ+ Movie. Jenkins reaped nearly $65 million for having produced it with a meager $1.5 million! Not bad! Its message, the plot, and the cinematography is just stunning!
Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
This is why families go on roadtrips. The Hoover family jump in on a VW bus and travel interstate to support their daughter in the final round of a beauty pageant. Since family is naturally intolerable, the members struggle to adjust to each other’s quirks, until they get along.
We can see ourselves as the sulky Steve Carrell. How about you? The acting and plot twist was so good it got several nominations and awards in the Oscars – Best Original Screenplay and Best Actor in a Supporting Role.
Jack the Giant Slayer (2013)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $86,000,000 – $106,000,000. We’re starting to think giants purposefully designed that portal to keep storytellers from sabotaging childhood classics such as this. The protagonist, a farmhand, ventures into a portal where he takes arms against the giants. He wins the hand of the princess and becomes the legend. Then he wakes up and realizes it was all a dream, kidding.
But we’ll give the princess some credit. She looks battle-ready and lovely in that armor. We wish she took up arms against the giants instead of Jack. In fact, never mind Jack. Let him shiver in the cold depths of the Atlantic waters. That would have made a better plot twist!
My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)
We’re nearing 30 but we’re not at all worried, unlike Toula Portokalos’ family. The stars align for her when she works for her aunt’s travel agency. There she meets upper middle-class White protestant Ian Miller.
Now what does her family worry about now? He’s not Greek! All throughout the engagement, the introductions and the wedding arrangements she convinces her family to accept him while dealing with their cultural heritage. Trust us, this one’s worth watching!
Jupiter Ascending (2015)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $87,000,000 – $120,000,000. More like Jupiter’s Descent. Mila Kunis was born under astrological signs that promise power and ascent but she had been raised in less ideal conditions. A hunter arrives on Earth to find her and restore her in the grander scheme of things where she can alter the fate of the universe.
It’s just that there wasn’t much there apart from the money and time lighting those candles. There are a lot of rich uninhabited landscapes and galaxies we would love to see Mila rule over but the film lacks taste and imagination. Next.
Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $87,000,000. Immortal guardians protect children from darkness, sadness and despair. Some of them include the vivacious Easter Bunny, the cosmic Tooth Fairy, and the kindly Santa Claus. This time, they must overthrow a boogeyman named Pitch Black who is set to distort children’s reality about the guardians.
Two of the three big critics rated this movie highly but Metacritic thought otherwise. Some were quick to say that it’s much like the Avengers and the Childhood Icons. It’s engaging for kids and adults and definitely worth making a franchise over.
Final Fantasy : The Spirits Within (2001)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $94,000,000. We are sticking to the game, game animation and game design. At least we have a greater chance of winning there. In the movie, the characters were too rigid- great pixelation but atrocious computer graphics.
It’s mediocre despite having a number of great names and actors. It would have been fun and spiritual but it’s really just a rip-off of the game. Return to stations and man the consoles! We’re heading back to war.
The Lone Ranger (2013)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $95,000,000 – $190,000,000. Because it’s Johnny Depp we would have anticipated it would be beloved by many. But not even a great actor can endear the audience. First of all, it should have been played by a Native American actor. Second, don’t make light of a troublesome and dark period of American history.
It will backfire! All it is is much like the desert – a barren flatland with an occasional train of thought chugging sluggishly. It couldn’t even honor the native legends appropriately, with its bland script… and blaring action overkill.
The Mummy (2017)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $95,000,000. For a minute, our heart pounded there. How could critics find fault in Brendan Fraser’s perfectly sculpted face, or Rachel Weisz’ face? But no, this is the 2019 version that had nothing to do with the O’ Connells. And that was probably why it had been a flop. The storyline was poor and the CGI was unimpressive.
The final fight scene was a-okay but for most of the movie we kind of wondered if Cruise’s body was still up for the rigors of action movies. It’s so bad there’s only one review of it on Rotten Tomatoes, and it tells us you’ll be disappointed if you expect it to be a horror movie.
The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $96,000,000. Rotten Tomatoes rated it 4% while Metacritic rated it 12%. This action-comedy is about a nightclub owner who secures his property against “lunar gangsters”. Somehow images of Michael Jackson doing the moon dance come to mind. Lunar gangsters you say?
Producers probably didn’t think this through. Wouldn’t it have gone through several people to get the pass? Yet, it made filming and the debut only to be proven a blockbuster bomb. It’s neither adventurous nor funny, neither is it forgettable because there’s nothing to forget.
47 Ronin (2013)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $97,000,000 – $150,000,000. After a ritual suicide by a Japanese feudal Lord Asano, his samurai engage the guidance of a mixed-blood warrior to help them vindicate their master. Some believe that the movie was underrated whereas others thought it was a misnomer. It barely had any semblance to the historical source material.
Historically, the inexperienced Lord Asano had given a token gift ill-fitting of an imperial envoy. The latter was visibly annoyed and had taunted the Lord until Asano charged at him. Lord Asano was ordered to commit seppuku for his lapse in judgment. Afterwards his samurai exacted revenge years after. See, it had more depth than the movie.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
They had been driven by madness that during shooting Tobe Hooper would push everyone to their breaking point. By the end of the film, he thought everyone hated him. And for good reason! Imagine being tied to a chair with grown burly men looming over you – and not for a kinky reason.
Marilyn Buns was tied to the chair and had been forced to scream for hours on end during filming. She was also repeatedly slugged by the for about eight shots until she fainted. Hansen hadn’t been acting when he was laughing hysterically at the end of the movie. Think about that!
Titan A.E. (2000)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $100,000,000. Years after Earth was obliterated by the Drej, a human teenager finds himself on a journey using a map his father had given him. For 90s kids this movie was a pioneer – graphics was superb because it had combined traditional anime with CGI. But the adults said it was heavily taken from other sci-fi movies.
In the early 2000s, there were too many movies “set” in space, and it had disinterested a lot of people. Adult critics say it’s specially made for dim or easily- fooled children. How were we supposed to know there were tiers to space exploration when we could barely understand the color chart.
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $115,000,000 – $153,000,000. They had us at King Arthur, until we realized it had little to do with Camelot. It was a basic wipe out of the classic story. Shouldn’t that excite us, especially Guy Ritchie had directed it? It’s just that it lacks emotional involvement.
The movie was as promising as one UK Critic’s review – this latest take on the Arthurian classic is epic in many ways, none of them good. That was scathing. It’s just that it was an explosion of so many digi- monsters, digi-battles, and dis-appointments.
John Carter (2012)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $122,000,000 – $200,000,000.This sci-fi film was based on the first book in the Barsoom novel series by Edgar Burroughs. Civil war awakens on Mars and Carter finds himself caught in the middle of it. As the city nears collapse, Carter must find a way to save the city’s and everyone in it.
Many say it’s good enough to buy a movie ticket, but why hadn’t people flocked to the theaters like we would have. Kitsch was in it! A lot felt that the pacing was odd and that the characterization of Carter wasn’t well-thought-out of.
Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (2003)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $125,000,000. Despite an aggressive marketing strategy, movie reviews were sour. Sinbad navigates through rough seas, subdues fearsome creatures and snarling dogs after being falsely accused by the Goddess of Chaos. Rotten Tomatoes describes it as competent, but not magical. Guess we should stick to the books.
Really, Sinbad had just planned to steal a magic book aboard his friend’s ship. But the goddess had her sights set on it too. The goddess acquires it and incriminates Sinbad. Proteus, Sinbad’s friend, vouches for him. Now, Sinbad’s loyalty, to either his friend or his selfish intentions, will be tested as he journeys to retrieve the magic book.
El Mariachi (1992)
This Spanish-language American indie film marked Robert Rodriguez’ feature debut as a writer and director. A guitar player stops at a bar. Local sicarios believe that the foreigner was the enemy assassin sent to invade their town. Now, the guitarist must strum his way through town to stay alive.
With only a $7000 budget, it had made a gi-normous profit when it hit raked the box office with nearly $2 million. It seems that little film experience is not a qualification for a compelling story. We wish more films turned out this way.
This comedy film features a day in the life of two store clerks. Dante is called to man the shift just when he was supposed to rest. His friend, being the kindly influence that he is, suggests that they pass the time at the nearby shop instead of attending to video-store customers.
Both receive word that one of Dante’s exes has passed away. At the memorial service, he reconsiders staying with his current girlfriend or rekindling the flame with another ex. Why do users love it? They found it hilariously funny and very, very rude. They had us with rude! We’re in!
A recent move-in from New York forces Mike Peters to adjust to the spacious Los Angeles. He had just ended a romantic relationship and is struggling to find an arena for his comedy career to takeoff on. His buddy teaches him the ins and outs of seducing women to build his confidence.
Sounds like a 90s f***boy doesn’t it? And Mike would have become one until he meets down-to-earth Lorraine with whom he falls for. One critic calls it a modern comedy of manners and cool. It’s like getting love advice from a guru who had come in from a time machine!
This experimental body horror film was almost entirely manned by David Lynch. He was the writer, director, editor and producer. And you’d know he’s a genius because it had earned him $7 million USD when he had simply invested $10,000!
Henry, a lone resident, discovers that a one-night stand with Mary had left her pregnant. He marries Mary and moves in with her until she gives birth to a reptilian creature that won’t stop crying. But that had only been one of many other of his freakish troubles.
Blue Valentine (2010)
We are not a fan of crying over movies but we’d make an exception for this one. The movie had become a big contender in several movie nominations and it had earned around 160 times its production budget. So why is it a fan favorite? It’s identifiable.
Michelle Williams looks unrecognizable as she tap dances in front of a local store to Ryan Gosling’s singing. However a few minutes later, you’d see how the couple evolved from the lovestruck adults that they are to a man and a woman caught desperately repairing the cracks in their marriage.
Super Size Me (2004)
It’s exactly what it says. In this social experiment, director Morgan Spurlock binges on McDonalds food items for a month. You will see how his body, mood and energy drastically change. Talk about using a human guinea pig!
Each time a cashier asked, he would supersize his fries. But even as every pocket of fat and skin sagged and bulged in a month, so did his wallet! He made about 300 times his production budget. What else can we expect? The documentary also discusses the corporate consequences of the fast-food chain on health and wellness, and why it’s indifferent to its consumers.
You wouldn’t be watching this movie only once. A street musician and a Czech immigrant convey their love and longing for each other in a track of songs. Their collaboration not only kindles romance but a myriad of compositions the actors themselves produced.
This one made nearly 130 times the allocated movie budget. Just try listening to Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova. We’re barely one minute in and we’ve found our heart aching for our absent lovers. Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you’ve made it now.
The Hills Have Eyes (1977, 2006, 2007)
This cult classic revolves around a cannibalistic family who survive on hunting down stray vacationers in the Californian desert. The original film was shown in 1977 and there had been a subsequent remake in 2006. In 2007, Wes Craven’s classic received a sequel.
It’ll really get under your skin. If it doesn’t, they’ll make sure to. But let’s hope you’re passed out cold then. It’s going to be a tortuous experience and you’re going to lose your appetite for a drink or a snack while watching the movie. Prepare to retch and revolt!
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
One of Guy Ritchie’s bests! And this is why despite the uncharacteristic flops he has directed, we’d still risk sitting in for a two-hour curse-spitting exchange between thugs and agents. We’ve already hit watch later, have you?
In England’s seedy underbelly, a thug and his friends play a high-stakes card game against the local crime boss. They lose and are given a week to settle their debt – either pay 500,000 quid or give the keys to a pub. They find themselves in over their head after robbing drug dealers and the robbers in turn.
Night of the Living dead (1968)
They won’t stay dead! This cult classic emits radiation from a fallen satellite. The dead fitfully respond to it, tear the earth with their nails, and claw themselves upward to propagate the new era of the undead. In the 60s, it had brought disturbing grotesquerie to fans, and still does to present.
It has become the blueprint for horror movies where every main character dies. This was George Romero’s first feature film and it had credited him with unprecedented success! At the time of release, it was not commercially successful. Many snubbed it, but they didn’t for long. Who would if you have the army of the living undead after you?
A teenager is terrorized by a killer on Halloween night. What complicates matters is that you would actually have no external signs of trauma – blood, gore, open wounds, until you call the police. It’s common to have a fright from friends this time of the year.
And it was so horrifying for the actresses themselves that the little kid Curtis babysits grew up sleeping with her mother until she was about 15 years old. She hadn’t even remembered the movie as revolting that way. No wonder she was traumatized!
Mad Max (1979)
This movie made Mel Gibson, or shall we say, he made it a hit? With near-extinct oil resources, a man fights off a group of vicious biker thugs who had hunted down his wife and son. This is his only act of retribution, drawing from his instinct and experience as a patrol officer.
This seems to be the biggest winner of them all. It was only produced for $200,000 but it had earned George Miller $99.75 million upon premiere! It also sparked a franchise – the recent one including Charlize Theron.
Let’s play a game! After watching this movie, we have never reacted the same way to a kid who says this, and who, unfortunately we’re babysitting after – especially when they’re on their trikes! Hand us the bat, the key must be here somewhere! Do a pat-down.
Jigsaw affords his contestants a final chance at redemption through a series of death-dealing games. Just who are inclined to play? Those who are avid smokers, junkies, basically desolate individuals. We don’t want to finish it, but we just have to know how it turns out. Best believe, this is the most you’ll be hitting that pause button.
American Graffiti (1973)
A group of friends cruise through California while listening to rock n’roll hits. It’s the last day of their summer vacation, and the perfect cherry to the icing is a blonde high-school sweetheart that gives each of them the excitement they crave.
Believe us, it’s a taste that lingers! One user states it personifies the mood we all faced then, as we imagine ourselves a few months into the future. There are so many possibilities and we could hardly wait for the answers to each.
Paranormal Activity (2007)
Rotten Tomatoes gives this a 83% whereas IMDb and Metacritic think it’s so-so. After Katie and Micah move into a new home, they find items oddly placed within the house, or doors opening at ungodly hours. Disbelief hits them initially until they grapple with the possibility of supernatural forces.
They place video cameras around the house and hope to provide themselves the evidence to prove (or disprove) what the hope is a product of their imagination. The Chicago Reader acclaims the film saying the climax is deliciously scary.
Get Out (2017)
This movie gives us trust issues. A black man goes on a weekend trip to his girlfriend’s house where he meets her parents. Something sinister is afoot and all the while he’s dealing with overtones of racial discrimination and uncomfortable family ties.
The ending is superb by the way. But we’re not going to tell you more than that. We don’t to ruin it for you – it’s that good! It even won the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. It earned nearly 56 times the $4 million budget, and it’s worth rewatching.
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $78,400,000 – $100,000,000.It seems that people are better off imagining the characters and the plot twists when reading the book than seeing it before them on film. Dirk Pitt ploughs through the desert to discover treasure locked away on a ship. He and his mate find a stunning woman who barely escaped a warlord.
The heat from the desert dunes is as exhausting as the turn of events on the film. Imagine the Mummy with less computer-generated graphics. We can’t imagine anyone outdoing Harrison Ford when he had set the bar high as Indiana Jones. There’s just as much heat, but this one’s a roast.
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $76,000,000 – $150,000,000.Otherwise known as Project T, this sci-fi mystery film is about a woman who frequently transports herself to Tomorrowland by touching a lapel pin. She engages a scientist to uncover the mysteries of the metropolis. The New York Post has claimed it’s effectively a two-hour trailer. Well, who doesn’t love trailers?
It’s just that trailers lack dramatic appeal. They’re only meant to entice us for the main entree, which in this case, never came. Users say the first half was dull and when their excitement was piqued, you’re only met with a mediocre conclusion.
Power Rangers (2017)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $76,000,000. You’ve grown up with them. And we bet that at least once in your life you’ve scoured your whole closet to come up with an attire that’s remotely similar to theirs. Five teens must get their life together in order to keep the world from being obliterated by an alien invader.
But which do you prefer- the original or this reboot? Some say it’s a failed attempt to modernise the franchise. There are dumb and unexplained moments but you get to process teenage dilemma while the rangers undergo character development. Would you be willing to relive senior high?
How Do You Know (2010)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $76,000,000 – $105,000,000.This American romantic comedy-drama stars Reese Witherspoon swept as the object of two men’ affection – Paul Rudd and Owen Wilson. This tomcat has always lived and breathed softball, but after being cut from the team, she learns to value love from a professional baseball player and a businessman.
The big three (IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes and Bomb Report have weighed in. It doesn’t look good. Wilson and Rudd were so-so while Reese was an absolute joy. However, viewers claim that the movie dealt with common issues of dissatisfaction and how we fill up the void with relationships. Sounds familiar? Grab the popcorn!
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $95,000,000 – $115,000,000.This is another-book based movie. Why’d we ever shift to making the movies in the first place? We didn’t know that could make us dull. With 95 reviews, users gave an average rating of fourteen per cent. Guess the last laugh was on them.
But what was it about? A lawman finds monstrous spirits who disguise themselves as ordinary people to avoid passing into the afterlife. Much like the movie, none of them wants/deserves our sympathy. They dismantle cosmic balance.
Cutthroat Island (1995)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $89,000,000.You wouldn’t want to go down like this, but it had earned the Guinness Book of World Records “largest box office flop” category. Geena Davis inherits her father’s galleon and travels a third of a map to find treasure on Cutthroat Island. Why is it a third of a map? That’s because it’s tattooed on her father’s scalp, one of three brothers.
It’s that bad that it is dubbed as mindless entertainment. It is too obscene for children but it is too cartoonish for adults. Well, we’d probably watch it for the second comment. It wouldn’t be so different from all the other movies we have put up with this decade.
Gods of Egypt (2016)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $79,000,000 – $90,000,000. This fantasy film had us hooked the moment we saw the cast- Jamie Lannister AKA Nikolaj Waldau and Gerard Butler in the same film! That’s enough yummy goodness to satisfy our eyes. Of course, it had something to do with the Egyptian deities but that’s unimportant.
It’s just that Nikolaj is better off as the Kingslayer than a pitiful sob who becomes a recluse. He had lost a one on one with Butler and paid for it with his eye. But it took him so long to avenge his father’s death! Second, we cannot imagine Butler as the antagonist so casting him as one made us cranky. Guys, what do you think of it?
The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $80,000,000.
Great-looking cast. Chiseled faces, well-worn suits, crisp movement but a lack of facial expression! The only actress we see performing well was Elizabeth Debicki. Armie Hammer was so-so but Vikander and Cavill had relied too much on their good looks to make their acting laudable.
U.S. and Russia send a team of agents to infiltrate the criminal network and defuse the nuclear weapon set to be launched. It was directed by Guy Ritchie. We know his methods in the Sherlock series and by far, this was his worst film to date.
The Full Monty (1997)
This British comedy revolves around a man’s attempt to raise money for his wife’s claim for child support. He had just lost his job at the steel factory, and on top of that he found that his wife wanted to sue him. He and his friends come up with the ingenious idea of becoming male gigolos.
Now why is it comedic? Because there’s barely any resemblance to Oded Fehr in Deuce Bigalow – no sculpted abs, chiseled faces or machismo. But we’re not complaining, they make up for it in “hot stuff”. Now show us what you can do!
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $83,000,000.This sci-fi thriller revolves around a galactic hospital ship and its search-and-rescue crew. It answers to a distress call received from a distant galaxy. The mysterious man they rescue brings aboard an alien artifact, and somehow the ship gravitates towards a star that is about to combust as a supernova.
User reviews go so far as avoid. Avoid mission? Don’t even bother searching this up on Netflix because it is a crash course from the start. You’d think that with the immensity of energy and matter its name suggests, it’d perform at par. But no, better sleep this one off.
Valerian and the city of a Thousand Planets (2017)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $84,000,000.
Special Operatives maintain peace and order within human territories. Valerian and Laureline are dispatched to the metropolis to learn about the city’s culture and heritage. Menace looms and they race back to save the city from being reduced to oblivion.
It stars Cara Delevigne a promising actress, but critics cant say the same for her and her partner’s characters. They say the money went into the CGI but without depth to the script and the characters’ intentions, it simply feels like a theme park ride.
Town & Country (2001)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $85,000,000. An illustrious New York architect rediscovers his life’s meaning when he encounters several missteps in his life. He discovers the answers with the help of his wife and and friends. Fairly decent film right? But why’d it disinterest the viewers?
For one, it’s about one man’s fixation to taste the forbidden fruit of adultery. Never in his 25 years of marriage has he had one, and now he struggles with the thought of it and the repercussions it could bring. Nt that we’re judging, but how about marriage counselling?
Treasure Planet (2002)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $85,000,000. This is the first cartoon film on the list and yet it still sustained losses. You’d think that with the wide audience it can cater to, including the children in all of us, it would have several fans. But this adaptation of Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island simply lacked character development.
We will think about that more often when we go out on dates. In fact, why not just show it to kids, and teach them that personality and attitude will go a long way in life. It was nominated for Best Animated Feature in the Academy Awards but it had stayed as just that.
The Good Dinosaur (2015)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $85,000,000.The trailer was cute, and the smooth curves of the dinosaur’s snout are what drew us to him. He embarks on an adventure with an untamed kid. But as the story progresses, you would find yourself annoyed with personification of the dinosaur – it’s far more civil and educated than the human.
It would have been nice if there was a partnership between them. Even a preschooler would display a greater degree of intellect in this primitive setting, but no, we’re quite thankful an asteroid hit the Earth thousands of years ago.
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $96,000,000. We were excited to see a female pilot team up with others to stop an unmanned artificially intelligent plane from sparking a new world war. It’s just that much of its plot is taken from Top Gun and 2001, making it very predictable.
Audience members say that got motion sickness from so many quick cuts and zooms that they failed to appreciate the action sequences. We’re going to miss out on a lot of aerial combat and superb actor performance. So might as well stick to plot spoilers.
Mars Needs Moms (2011)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $100,000,000 – $144,000,000. Regret – that is what this movie builds on. If you were a mom and your efforts go unappreciated, this is a good movie to horrify your children into doing their homework or finishing the chores. Remind them there are no spaceships children can man.
In this 3D film, a 9-year old boy refuses to listen to his mom’s requests and brands everything as a nagging complaint – homework, vegetables, sleeping on time. He tells his mom he can’t wait for him to be rid of her until she is kidnapped by Martians. With a pang of regret, he launches a rescue mission.
Monster Trucks (2016)
Estimated nominal loss is valued at $109,000,000 – $123,000,000. A high school senior builds a monster truck from car pieces he discovered from dumps. In it he houses a creature from the subterranean caves below Earth’s surface. Now he finds a way to win the races, move up the ranks and protect a “friend”.
It’s kind of like Herbie-fully loaded and the Transformers. some agree that there is a lack of credible writing, acting and logic. It’s definitely made for simpletons like children – the way we were around the time the movie was shown. It wasn’t all that bad!
The Evil Dead (1981)
If you ever find yourself breaking in a cabin in the woods, and exploring the supernatural treasures within, never read the characters from a book…any book! The least you would want to do is reawaken the dead. That’s what happened when a group of friends unleash a flood of evil.
Just browse through the pages, but under no circumstance do you say it aloud. Stop it! If you can’t stomach your friends becoming possessed by dark forces, then best close the book, and let your story narrative become a bore.
Disclaimer: This Article was First Published on Daveswallet.com and is published here with approval.