50 Times People Took Instructions Too Literally…Like, What?By Aileen D
Being told what to do can be boring. So when these people were asked to clean their rooms, tidy their stuff or solve for X, they decided to follow the instructions to the tee. There were a lot of laughs and a great deal of do-vers for the botched work.
One lesson we can take from this is to be simple and specific about our instructions, especially when giving these to beginners. We tend to assume that our orders are understandable when they can be interpreted in several ways. Save the idioms for when you’re both familiar with them. Enjoy the laughs until then!
At Least They’re Stellar Students
When you were in second grade, teachers refrained from using idiomatic expressions. At best, they would explain things to you by way of analogy. Keep it simple; that’s the best way to go. That or they would always give examples in the instructions.
Stuff like this happens. To be fair, at least this student knows his alphabet, right? He was able to write the letters of each word in alphabetical order. We would give him top marks and then charge it to experience. Next time, we’ll explain the instructions and give an example before letting the students answer the quiz.
Help Us Go On A Diet
Going on a diet can be upsetting. It almost feels like you’re depriving yourself of all the things that you deserve – sweets, alcohol, fruits, and carbs. Dieting takes so much effort and discipline to shed off the weight. It’s like we can’t do it alone. Sometimes, we ask other people to be our accountability partners. They help keep us stick to our diets!
So come Thanksgiving day, this woman asked her brother to fix her a plate of food. She didn’t want to stray to the buffet table. But she didn’t want to appear ungrateful either. Within a minute, her brother presented her with the pick of the crop. At least he made sure she got a taste of everything!
Breaking House Rules
Whereas other kids on this list have trouble interpreting their parents’ instructions, this one didn’t. This is one smart kid. When he was told that he couldn’t go outside, he didn’t waste any time sulking. He put on his cape, got his toy car, and then opened the door. Hasta la vista, baby!
He knelt down and slowly crawled over that picket line. For sure, this is a strike against the boss of the house. But it’s legal. Technically, he’s still inside the house! His parents should start saving money. We can see a lawyer in this kid! Until then, he’ll be a pain in the rear to raise.
The Customer is Always Right
The most successful businesses live by this golden truth – treat your customers as well as you can. Give them quality service, up and beyond the value they invest in your company. If you treat them well, they’re likely to put in a good word for you. The best way to do this is to comply with customer requests and be open to feedback.
So when this deliveryman read the request, he couldn’t help but scratch his head. Did the sender really mean it? There would be no harm in doing it, but we find it very odd. In the end, he complied, thinking, “when in doubt, it’s better to follow the client than to find yourself jobless.”
It’s The Thought That Counts
Don’t you love partners who are thoughtful? They’re good at reading your mood, and they know what to do to make your day better. Take this guy, who had bought two packs of snacks. He placed them on his partner’s desk and placed a note in front of both.
Well, sure, why not? Paper is biodegradable, and it can surely churn within our stomach. Unfortunately, it’s not as tasty and nutritious as Black Forest Ham. We should probably stick to that snack next time. We’ll eat the paper if, and only if, there’s peanut butter wedged between.
Can’t Wait In Line
Nothing beats Walmart! They’re upping their game with customer hosts. So when Karen feels like paying a visit to the manager, she can have that refund request processed speedily. They also have this new addition to address long queue lines – Drive-Thru Pharmacies!
Hearing about this new feature, one customer went absolutely ecstatic! Did you hear that? You could place an order and purchase OTC meds as if your pharmacy was the local fast-food chain. He couldn’t control his excitement as he rammed himself into the block wall. Now, he needs those meds and hospital admission.
Just Following Orders
It’s good to follow authority. They have your safety in mind. That’s why when this man was cruising the highway at 70 mph, he drove to a stop and parked his car on the side of the road. There was a highway sign he had read. This law-abiding citizen took out his pen and paper.
He drew a rough sketch of the Brooklyn Bridge. It was the only bridge that he could draw from recall. How could he forget the beauty of those suspension lines and the giant octopus that lives in the water below? Occasionally, it would grab a car and hurl it to the boroughs of Brooklyn. But for the most part, it would just wave at the passing cars.
Taking Good Care of Mother Nature
The internet has been abuzz with urban gardening. It’s a great way to spend time indoors. Besides, you get to surround yourself with like-minded individuals. After all, aren’t you a complicated houseplant too? Because of that, this man went on a trip to the local garden center to purchase some plants for his flat.
He’s lucky he isn’t in the Cacti section. You can only imagine how painful that would have been. We should probably get ourselves one of those signs too. It would help when we have friends come over. Most of them can’t keep their hands to themselves. This is a nice way of telling them to back off…or lose the eyeballs!
Even in grade school, there were certain cliques. It’s just that children weren’t aware of them. They were pretty inclusive. There were the kids who loved reading books during break time. There were those who took naps, and there were those who loved to chat with their friends. Guess which clique Hope belonged to.
We’re hopeful that Hope will be able to remember her quadrilaterals. We might want to group her with kids who spend time reading books during the break time, if only for a couple of weeks. As you can see, she finds it easy to make friends with others. So we’re certain she’ll adjust quickly.
Sue the Signage Company
These folks thought that it was a nice day to go for a walk. They packed some sandwiches, wore their coats, and walked towards the deer path. It was a cloudy day outside, they noticed, as they sat on the bench. They were too busy munching on those sandwiches that they didn’t have anything left to feed those deers with.
So they obligingly fed the deer a few cents worth of food. This man held out his hand for a long time, only to find the deer turning its head away. Metal just isn’t it’s favorite. Maybe it’ll find a few other hospitable visitors to feed it oats, acorns, or wheat.
That’s Two Words
Not only has this person failed to comprehend the instructions, but she also does not know how to count. Uno, single, mono, one – we don’t know how else we can explain what “one word” means. It actually took her the whole page to realize where she went wrong.
That’s two words, Karen. Now, you have ruined your slam book. Instead of posting something worthwhile, you’ve immortalized how lacking you are. We’ll give you one word you should write over and over – study. If you studied a bit harder, you might have understood this correctly.
When you’re alone, you tend to do really odd stuff. Oh, come on, you probably danced Jingle Bell Rock( Mean Girls Edition) when you were alone in your room. There’s always something liberating about having no one else around. But sometimes, it can also get very lonely.
So when this guy came across this sign, he couldn’t help but kneel down and gently lay himself on the curb. How could you walk by it without giving it so much a hug? Just a couple of seconds tops! Do it before someone catches you, or worse, before a car passes by the left curb.
Welcome to Portland City
Portland has a lot of things to boast of. Its name was left to chance, with two people choosing to call it either Boston or Portland. Second, it has tons of strip clubs, movie theaters, and restaurants. Home to the most number of residents in America, it’s known for being hipster and crunchy!
Man buns, mustaches, skirts, and Darth Vader unicycling in the open – Portland is home for weirdos. We should get to packing and move there. We bet we would fit right in. The best part is that it has a lot of breweries. Between that and strip clubs, what city could be better? There would never be a dull day in Rose City.
Little Miss Obedient
It’s common for parents to have favorites. We have found that mothers tend to be closer to their sons. Conversely, fathers tend to be closer to their daughters. Some bond with a child because of similar interests like sports and music. Others have an inclination for children who are obedient to them.
It’s funny. This mommy doesn’t seem to like her youngest despite the latter being the most obedient. She had told everyone to place their shoes and slippers by the side of the door. So little miss munchkin knelt down, gingerly removed the straps of her shoes, and then hobbled over to the doormat. The joke is on mommy!
A lot of young folks use public parks, railings, and staircases for parkour and freerunning. Since those grills are welded unto cement, they make for rad obstacle courses. Sprint one way and then tumble down the next. Of course, there’s a great deal of risk. With people frequenting these places, traceurs risk injuring others.
Hence the sign. These stairs only afford a few meters distance for the commute. You wouldn’t want bicycles blocking the way. But unicycles will do. They’re cute and small, and they take up less space. If you find your unicycle confiscated by authority, you could get a pass on technicality.
Because It Can Get Boring
What are the ways to spend time while waiting for something? You could count the number of people wearing a particular color of shirt. You could also try to hum off tune. Try to piss other people off the same way you feel about queueing. Or you can drop dead.
Wait for a nurse to breathe life into you, unless it’s a man, and then calmly explain that you simply fell in line. That would be a great way to pass the time. By then, the movie doors should open, and you’ll be ushered inside. Let’s hope that your antic didn’t piss off the guard. Otherwise, you’ll have to forfeit your ticket.
To The Most Loyal Customer, Karen
Karen’s nieces were going to have their birthday soon. Being the doting aunt, she had everything planned – the balloons, program, invitations, and the cakes! She went to the bakeshop early. The store manager asked her what she wanted to be written on the cakes. “Happy birthday on both,” she says.
So how could you blame customer service for that? Really, Karen. You should have been more clearer about what you had wanted. You could have asked for a pen and paper and written the greeting down. Or you could just run your finger through the icing and lick it off. It’s called damage control.
Management posted a sign for everyone using the bathroom. They had received a fair number of reports that it was unclean and unfit for use. So from time to time, a janitor does his rounds. And they’ve also placed some toiletries for all to use.
At that time, it seemed like he needed it. He was done conducting his business. It’s just that it went in the wrong hole. We’d like to suggest that management install bidets. That’s more hygienic than instructing people to use toilet brushes. It’s also painless.
Out With the Trash
There’s one elementary rule to writing – be careful about using pronouns. Make sure that the pronoun corresponds to the appropriate subject. If it’s a female, use “she,”; a male, use “he,”; and if it’s anything else, better use “it.” The problem is when two or more subjects fall under the same pronoun. Take this, for example.
So who should we put in the litter bin? You’re right! We should put our dog in it. After all, it’s making all the mess. It can’t even clean up after itself. We have tried potty-training it, but it never seems to listen to us. Better to put it where it belongs! Guess this dog won’t be having a field day being taken on walks…not anymore.
Drew Arms Too
We hated this lesson as kids. We always wondered why we couldn’t have digital clocks, that way, we wouldn’t have to deal with the longhand and the second hand. It’s better to have it phased out as with other pieces of technology. But to this day, we’re still teaching kids how to read the time…analog style.
The purpose of the lesson was to teach the children how to appreciate each day’s rhythm and the opportunities granted by God. In order to do that, you would have to draw the time on the clock. Too bad this kid took it too literally. He even gave it arms! How about breathing life into it?
Better To Play It Safe
We have all been here. You probably hadn’t been able to study well for that test. Or you studied an all-nighter, but you couldn’t understand a darn thing. You begrudgingly go to class, place your bag down and sit on your seat. As you receive your paper, you break out in cold sweat. What in the devil is this?
So, you answer like the boss that you are. It’s better to play it safe. Maybe your teacher will give you credits for following instructions. To be fair, this kid read it right. Those greater and lesser signs look like brackets surrounding the word “or.” Who knew there’d be English in Math?
Beat You To It
This fella was just doing his duty by the side of the road when he was beat by someone. He works nearly twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and isn’t even well paid for it! A few sympathetic people rushed to his side, only to find out that he gave provocation for the hit.
No wonder, buddy. If you hold signs like this, best believe people will beat you to it. Maybe it’s time to resign, move to another city, and live another life. This isn’t worth it- working yourself to the bone, standing out in the heat without anyone giving you credit.
Am I Doing It Right?
Learning something for the first time can be terrifying. That’s expected. So it’s good to have someone explain the procedure to you and demonstrate it. If that isn’t possible, you could read the instructions and follow visual aids. Mimic the movements as closely as possible.
Am I doing it right? Because it doesn’t feel like it. This visual aid is giving us some serious trust issues. There aren’t any soap suds on the fingers, and it looks like air or steam is coming out of the pipes. We wanted to learn how to wash our hands with water. We hadn’t signed up for dry steam cleaning. Come on now!
Kids and adults go nuts when they see this sign. It brings out the child in them. Fluff, feather, and good-natured laughs- there’s always something to be treasured during pillow fights. It’s also a great way to test the durability of these mass-produced throw pillows.
How do you think it went? He must have had a great time playing with those pillows by himself because, after a couple of minutes, he had a talk with the manager. Just before he left the building, they had packed those pillows in boxes which he tugged behind him.
Just Two Dudes Chilling
This is perfect for you and your friends. Have them come over to play ball in the park. It’s the perfect getaway from domestic life. That way you can catch up on each other’s lives and get some exercise – kind of like how this dude is chilling in the park.
Just so you know, this installation was actually meant to be a joke. Artist Viktor Briestensky placed it in 2012. The place is known amongst locals as Guelph Park. In it, you’ll see a bronze statue of a man who looks like he’s chilling. Hence the name. Pretty cute, right.
When we were students, we couldn’t understand why our professors would ask us for examples. We’re certain they knew the answers. Besides, why should they ask us? They’re the ones who ought to be doing the teaching. That mindset would show up in more ways than one…especially in tests!
It sounds like a sound answer. But it wouldn’t help you earn your degree. We would hope to get a bonus for making our teacher smile. Just in case we don’t, that’s a lesson learned! Never again would we risk being a smart aleck in class.
If You Say So
We’re pretty disagreeable people. We dislike being told what to do, especially when we aren’t told why we should do it. It feels like our choices are being restricted. So it’s surprising how we easily complied with this signage. In fact, we gladly obliged.
Of course, that sign meant nicotine butts, but as they say, if it fits, I sits. She makes for a great view anyway. Anyone who poses like this snuffs out their common sense but makes a few laughs along the way. Guess there’s some benefit to being obedient, after all.
You Said Simple!
This teacher is giving us a migraine. Not only is she teaching us algebra, but she’s also giving us mixed signals. When we had asked her to clarify the instructions for us, she simply repeated what was written on the paper. “As simple or as complex as you want,” she said.
You said it could be anything as simple as we want. You’ve got it! We can’t see how you can disprove that x is not equal to 7. It can be any number we want, Karen. Maybe next quiz, you should specify “without using X=7”, so that we’re on the same page.
And Then The Police Came
Of all the signs on this list, this one is the most dangerous. If you don’t play your cards right, you might end up in jail. This sign is commonly placed near pedestrian crossings or blind spots where cars race by. It’s meant to keep the kids safe from accidents.
Like we said, if you take this sign too literally, you might just catch yourself on a patrol ride to the station. Nothing screams trouble like a person using binoculars to watch children a couple of meters across the road. Like any human being, instruct them to follow the streetlight, and help them cross the street if they ask.
Taking It Out On The Vendo Machine
When you’re low on sugar, and you’re feeling lightheaded, there’s only one place to go – the vendo machine. Within a couple of seconds, you can shove that chocolate bar or down that fizz to get your sugar levels up. But machines (being machines) can malfunction. Your patience wears thin, and you take out your last burst of energy on it.
As this guy did! Worse, he rode his car and then slammed into it. We’re just kidding. This is a funny coincidence where the driver had intended to drive in reverse. He hadn’t noticed he shifted to park. As he looked back out of his car and slammed the accelerator, he drove straight towards the vending machine.
In class, this student would stare wide-eyed at her teacher. She would diligently take down notes and ask questions if she finds something puzzling. As an avid learner, she would finish her assignments on time. She never really encountered any troubles with learning, except on these occasions.
If only this module stated “8 minus 6”, then this kiddo would have been able to answer that correctly. Guess she must have forgotten what “difference” meant. Given this answer, her teacher could explain what it means. Let’s hope she doesn’t commit the same mistake.
Get One At Your Local Pet Shop
This is a friendly suggestion for people who are looking for a lifelong partner. Best stop by your local pet shop. We have heard that Manna Pro is hosting this event where you could choose your pick of chicks. Yes, get as many as you want!
Without hesitation, this woman picked up her girlfriend and had someone take a picture. Don’t they look adorable? She’s swept up in her lover’s arms. They were on their way to choose a new furry buddy when they came across this sign. If we could land ourselves a date with Manna Pro’s chick starter feeds, we’d be buying loads of it.
Will This Work?
With the bulk of orders we have placed online, it’s difficult to guess which package we’ve received. It’s like Christmas every day. We shake the parcel to guess the contents within. Try as we might, we can’t make sense of the parcel description, what with the barcode, and the numbers. Guess we’ll have to take our chances opening it.
No comprende. Let’s hope this package isn’t fragile. We’ll just hammer it into bits and wait for the granules to fall out of the holes. If that fails, we’ll rip the package apart. The great thing about being a customer is that you can always blame it on the courier. That, or you can invoke the warranty.
Some people love competition because it suits them. There are a lot of things to be gained by it – attention, money, or connections. Whatever the reason, this eager beaver immediately took hold of his phone after reading the company’s terms and conditions.
He seems like the type to post selfies as a habit. As we said, some people compete because it suits their interests. For this guy, it’s having his face plastered on your Instagram feed, university walls, billboards, and subway stations. Reckon he won?
Oh, The Wit
Motorists and travelers find themselves smiling after encountering this odd picture. Not even those having a bad day can help themselves. They were able to see it a couple of meters away – its mouth agape with a curt caption on top. Whoever did this deserves a round of applause.
Not only did it take wit and mental effort, but it took muscle power to pull this trick off. It must have been a nonfunctional oven range. Since it was taking up space at home, its owner decided to dump it somewhere. Why not by the side of the road where it can put a smile on people’s faces?
Is This What America Has Come To
BBC America prides itself on being the vigilant watchdog for the people. And this would have been great advertising had it not been for the placement of this sign. Is this what America has come to – being just above the trash? We guess this signage speaks for itself.
Much like its politicians, Americans love to recycle. Everything from their clothes, books to their values is mass-produced and taken elsewhere. We’re simply lacking originality. BBC is right. We’re just above the trash. We’ve got to do something about this!
Find You A Hole
It’s one of the worst things to happen at a party. You’re tipsy, in need of a drive home, and your phone is at 2%. You fumble for the cable charger and then walk unsteadily towards the nearest outlet. Unfortunately, all those holes have been filled. Where to, next?
Like a no outlet sign, the best thing to do is to find an extension. This (road) network is closed off. An extension is the best way other people can plug in cables at the same time. So, which appliance can we unplug momentarily? It’ll only be for a quick second, swear!
There are some food combinations we can’t stomach eating together- pasta cooked in blue Gatorade, pickle juice snowcone, chocolate chip Ramen. Well, not literally. We would probably slush them down if we were paid to do so. But the moment the taste registers in our mouths, we’re certain we’ll choke. What guck!
How can anyone trash pizza? Sure, you could peel off the cookies off the top, but then you’d have to peel off the mozzarella cheese and the sauce. That’s the best part of the pizza! Why eat it at all? Well, one thing is for sure. If you don’t want anyone to eat your pizza while you leave it unattended on the table, cook them with cookies on top.
Wait Til They Grow Up
After a long day at work, Reddit user arbucklefatty came home to her son. She had bought groceries on the way home and had asked the latter to help her tidy things up. As she put the food away in storage bins and refrigerator shelves, she asked her son if he could put these items in the bathroom.
Which he did. She exasperatedly states, “there is nothing like having a literal 2nd grader living in your house”. Well, honey, wait until they grow up. They’re pretty much the same. So it’s best to be specific with those instructions!
Peter’s Performing A Miracle
In less than an hour, Peter was stuck with a lot of blanks and a lot more of strikethroughs on his paper. He was answering a test. It was algebra. It’s understandable that he was struggling with the subject. But we wouldn’t, under any circumstance, risk answering this problem like this.
It’s like Peter was performing a miracle, hoping to ace the test with minimal effort. Expand, and there he goes carrying a staff, thrusting it down, and then hoping that he would part the Red Sea. Tough luck. But you’ll have to sweat like we did when we were making sense of Xs, As, and Bs.
Got A New Freebie!
Don’t you just love it, freebies? It doesn’t matter if you have any need for them. It’s the thought that you could gain something without spending a buck that thrills us! Well, this guy came across a study set one afternoon. It’s fully varnished and in need of hauling.
Look at that face! It turns out that all he needed was a piece of paper. He didn’t have to take the shelf or the desk. He has got his hands full with his phone and that sign. Oh the number of essays he could write on that piece of paper! Best get started!
Just Having Some Fun
This tourist destination was named after twin waterfalls found in Snake River Canyon, Idaho. Water from the river is split between two 200ft plunges located a few meters apart. Unfortunately, one twin was robbed of its stream of water to accommodate hydroelectric production. The first plant had been built in 1935. Today, you could still visit the hiking site.
From time to time you might see a twin fall. The hike down had been slippery. We hope he hadn’t gotten any scratches or sprains. It’s still a long way to go before they could get into their cars and head home. From the looks of it, that fall hadn’t ruined their trip.
On the evening news, a woman can be seen hysterically crying in the corner. She dabs the slits of her eyes and then stares at the camera, pleading. Can you tell me where my husband is? She last saw him yesterday after she bought groceries. This afternoon he had come home from work, but all his things were gone. On the countertop, he left this.
As if to say, “tell my wife I love her”. With this marketing campaign, Dove is beating every single soap competitor on the market. They’re also running marriages askew. Go anywhere but home, it says, as if that’s enough reason to desert your wife.
We’ve been to the doctor a couple of times in our lives, mostly for check-ups. The best ones were those where we got a couple of lollipops on the way home. It had been pretty much the same for this guy, except that he had a prescription for a couple of protein bars. It’s pretty odd. His doctor told him to take five at least once a day.
Reddit user explosion352 states “it’s not very healthy for me, but I guess I don’t have a choice.” That’s right. It’s better to follow the doctor’s orders to a tee than to skip a dosage. Besides, this medication tastes goods. There are five layers of sweet and salty yumminess- pretzels, peanuts, caramel, and butter!
Someone Took This Thing…Literally
A person has to contend with two versions of himself. The bad one often wins at buffets and staycations. That’s why a person is inclined to hoard bath towels, room slippers, and a palm of soap. As if things could get worse, one person thought of taking this “complimentary hand sanitizer.”
This person took things too literally…as in theft! We can only imagine how they were able to do that in public. Now everybody has to take turns washing their hands while singing “happy birthday” twice. Here we thought, we could dispense with the off-tune singing. But with the hand sanitizer gone, there’s only one other option -soap and water.
We’re the type to believe that with enough effort, you could ace a test or an exam. It doesn’t matter how smart you are. It’s grit that matters. Despite all efforts, this student still received an F in Biology. In case you’re wondering why look no further than this answer.
Because he was busy making art, look at all that effort gone to waste for a cheeky answer. You have to give it to him; it put a smile on your face. We hope he doesn’t make a habit out of this. No one will want him to be their doctor or nurse if he keeps this up.
Which “Other Side”
There’s a great degree of risk when opening a dressing container. It can blow up in your face or land on your lap. We can’t count the number of times either has happened. In these instances, we’d take a Romaine leaf and then use it to wipe the dressing off our faces. Then, it will go straight to our mouths! Yum!
Well, we have found the perfect solution to keep from making a mess of ourselves. When we read the fine print, it said: “open on the other side.” It took us a few seconds and a great deal of effort, but we managed to get it done. Care to try this sometime?
Still Not Following Instructions
Some places have the strangest small-town laws. In Idaho, it’s criminal to be caught frowning. Given that policy, we find it odd how so many crooks are found wandering Pocatello City. In Rumford, Maine, you’re disallowed from biting your landlord. You can bark all you want, but you have to keep yourselves on a leash. In this city, you’re only allowed to walk via headstand.
To be frank, she can be put in cuffs. That sign instructs you to do a headstand unsupported by your arms. They have to swing by your sides to balance your weight. Let’s hope she doesn’t get caught walking like this. Better get out of this place fast!
Great Way To Lose Weight
There are so many ways to lose weight. Experts generally state that a moderate to high-intensity workout does wonders if paired with a balanced diet. How frequently you should work out depends on your body type, current weight, and lifestyle habits. Discipline plays a key factor. If you have loads of it, as this man does, then it’s likely that you’ll lose weight quickly.
Apparently, this man has too much self- discipline. In a matter of days, he sends an SOS! “It’s been five days since he last ate!”, he says. Isn’t that a bummer? In case he decides to binge, we suggest that he eats high-protein foods, not this natural desiccant.
Someone Is A Show-Stopper
Two lovebirds decide to spend their lives together. They flitter their wings and invite their whole flock to bear witness. Just before the special day, loved ones travel interstate for the wedding. It must have been too long a ride for this unlucky fellow.
It’s a good thing those shrubberies shouldered the impact. We’re sure he hadn’t meant to be the showstopper, but everyone couldn’t stop talking about this early morning mishap. It’s like no one could remember the bride’s gown. Never mind that! Did this guy make it out alive?