What In The Woof Is Going On: Times When Our Pets Had Us Needing A Calming DownBy Aileen D
Pets are a constant source of entertainment. They display so many antics that puzzle us. Remember that time your cat stared at you fixedly while her whole body shook. It was like she was reacting to something that only she could see, and it wasn’t a good reaction at that. And how about that time when your dog came home with a treat in store. Where did he get those baby back ribs? From your neighbor’s yard, no less! But just as these pets entertain you, they can scare the living soul out of you. These owners learned this truth the hard way…probably on the way to the ER with a paramedic trying to jumpstart their heart. Keep this truth in mind the next time you adopt a pet. It just might save you.
All clear? Shock!
Cat Got Your Tongue
We have always known felines were…well, catty and unforgiving. But we hadn’t expected them to behave like this. Twitter user @aleashuhh has toyed with her cat so often. She would buy cucumbers and then place them in odd corners. Watch how high that kitty leaps! Her cat never forgave her for it.
So one day, it casually settled on the rug with a treat in tow. It nibbled at the corners but licked the snack for the most part. It patiently waited for @aleashuhh. She should be any minute now. And true to her plan, when mommy saw her, mommy’s eyes widened, and her jaw went slack. What happened, mommy, cat got your tongue?
Dressed in Darkest Suit and Tie
Someone in the household summoned Slenderman. With a black marker and some witchcraft, they put an X on a tree and chanted: Slenderman, slenderman, all the children try to run, slenderman slenderman to him it’s part of the fun. Look who came to visit.
Slender dog had been staring at her owner for the past couple of hours. It continued to stare at her after she had woken up. Legend has it that slender dog stalks and terrifies people, especially children. Guess some part of that urban legend is true.
Family photos are the worst. You have to agree to a palette of clothing colors and then cram yourselves in an undersized studio. No picture would be complete without family pets. So those pets further take up space. By the end of the shoot, the whole lot agreed that the middle child should be cropped out of the picture.
Look at him, smiling without a care in the world. Beside him, their two pets are growling at each other. It’s like they’re ganging up on the middle child. Get him out of the pic! Reckon the rest of the photos look like this? If they do, it’s worth the package deal.
The Power of Christ Compels You
With it clawing the sheets and bending in all directions, this cat had Reddit user fludmaps in a state of frenzy. Her fur mom decided that it was time to call Father Damien Karras. The sheets smelled of sulfur and rotten eggs. Bring your holy water! Come in under an hour. She might not last until then.
Father Damien Karras quickly positioned himself at the foot of the bed. No matter what you do, don’t speak to it, don’t talk to it. Recite the responses. This thing is no longer your cat! The priest sprinkled beads of holy water over the feline. It woke up in less than a minute. Cats sure hate water!
Call My Manager
One thing we can liken ourselves to cats is their disdain for the camera. Sure, they love getting attention. But having their picture taken is a different matter. You have to call their manager. If, by any chance, they see you taking a snapshot, they will snarl at you like this.
Despite her bared fangs, she’s still a cutie. Good thing her dad has a tight hold on her. Things wouldn’t have ended well if she had been let loose. Those lenses might have scratches on them. And that woman might have been nursing a few scrapes.
I’d Like A Return
This family loves dogs. They adopted three of them, and even decorated their living room with plush throw pillows…of dogs! To be fair, how can anyone get enough of canines? They’re too precious for this world. Might it be because of their innate innocence?
So when this dog slumped over and fell asleep on the couch, it hadn’t known it would take the face of a throw pillow. It gave mom a heart attack. It nearly made her want to go to the vet and ask for a return, please. This dog grows a ginormous head when it sleeps!
Every Day Is A Scare
Every day is a scare with this cat. Unlike other felines, he goes up and beyond the highest shelf in the house. It loves to dodge the wires and find its niche in the ceiling. From there, he will view everything – where you’re going, who’s eating what, and if you’re petting the dog.
That scratching you hear in the ceiling is borne by its tail swaying against the plyboard. In case it can’t hear anything, it’ll poke its head out even further. Imagine those green eyes lighting up in the dark, staring at you mercilessly. Whatchu eating, hooman. Well, at least, you won’t have any roof rats.
This little fluff has a cat for a sister. As you well know, siblings borrow each other’s toys from time to time. It helps with their boredom. Besides, it’s a great way for these two fluffs to bond. One Christmas evening, the two decided to play a game of Catcha Mouse.
We had thought mom accidentally clipped a fur off this doggo. As it turns out, that fluff ball lying in the corner is actually a cat’s toy. They were able to pounce on it. But we can’t tell who won this round of Catcha Mouse. We hope they had their bit of fun.
Stare Into the Abyss
If there’s anything we have learned by now, it’s that any pet, no matter how innocent-looking it is, can haunt you. Your chances of getting a mini-heart attack are higher if it’s a cat. Look no further than this cute kitty. Mommy had placed her in a bassinet so that she’s easier to play with.
It’s like Conjuring gone wrong. A spirit inhabits this kitty, and it won’t rest until you admit your sins. It knows what you have done. Shame, shame, shame! Confess your sins, and it just might refrain from haunting you. Send that spirit back to the underworld where the damned souls go.
If you have a pet, you might have bought it its own bed. It might have a plush cushion or a wooly blanket- perfect for a deep slumber. Despite having given this dog its own cushion, it sleeps in odd places around the house. Never in the $100 dollar bed!
His mom had found him in the garage! She had been moving things around looking for a wrench. She gave a frightful shriek as she saw her dog with its neck bent and its saliva drooling from the corners of its mouth. When she called out to it, it wouldn’t answer. She gave it a gentle boop, and its head lolled as if to say leave me be, hooman!
Get Your Own Beef
Cats have emotional triggers, as do we. It could be another pet’s scent, low-grade quality catnips, or your choice of footwear. You may wonder what had caused them to stare at you mercilessly. Best discover those triggers as soon as you can. Or you’ll have to deal with these kinds of stares for the rest of the month.
Yes, that’s raw ground beef. This Sphynx cat won’t have her protein source any other way. If you try give it something else, it’ll know. It won’t budge, neither will it sniff the air. It will know your act of betrayal. You will want to sleep in a separate room… err, neighborhood for now.
Getting A New Hobby
This mom goes to work every day. It’s an eight to ten-hour shift, so she doesn’t spend much time with her fur child. We can’t imagine what her dog does for fun. Does it count the cars, bite flies, or chase its tail? Well, this fur mom found out that it had gotten a new hobby!
Climbing the house! It seems unlikely that a dog would be able to pad its way up the stairs, open the latch, and scale the window. It’s not like it’s a cat with a sleek body. But it had done just that. Now, how about coming down from there? No, go back into the window where you had come out from. There you go, that’s a good boy!
Look At That Sweet Face
Don’t let this dog’s looks fool you. It looks innocent alright, with its head cocked to the side and its ear standing to attention. Where have you been hooman? I’ve been so lonely. It looks like he spent his time getting into a fight. His brother is nowhere to be seen.
When his fur mom turned his face to the side, she saw seeds stuck to his fur. She brought her fingers to her nose and smelled it – it’s tangy. She has smelled this before. An image of her cooking spaghetti sauce came to mind. This dog had been snacking on the leftovers he pulled from the trash in the backyard. Bad dog!
Despite its size, this doggo is one tough cookie. He’s very protective of his mom, and he barks at every stranger he sees. The only few people he cozies up to are his family and his groomer. As you can see, he would let the latter trim his fur and even perform a live lobotomy on him.
It sure looks like a live operation, without anesthesia. But don’t you worry, this groomer is really just detangling this dog’s fur. Every now and then, he snips off a few ends. He has got only half an arm on the right. That’s the part he’s using to keep this furball’s head in place. Quite an illusion – a live lobotomy!
Gone To The Vet
Having a pet is much like having a kid. You’re basically obligated to bring it to the vet every couple of months for a check-up. Reddit user BigDende loves his dog, so he doesn’t find it troublesome. In fact, he had once gone to the vet to have his dog’s teeth checked out. His dog came home with a fresh set of teeth.
When the vet handed him his dog, he was in for a treat. What a beast! He couldn’t believe his eyes. He had known his dog was tough, but he hadn’t known it had descended from a long line of werewolves. Just kidding, it took us a couple of seconds to realize that’s a pine cone!
What Had Gone Woof?
If you had a list of all your nightmares, this would probably make it. Reddit user redandwhiteros lives alone. It’s a sketchy neighborhood. For his safety, he had installed security cameras around the house. It should have helped him sleep with ease until his cameras detected motion. It was the dead of the night!
Who wouldn’t have a mini heart attack given that image? Your brain is scrambling to get itself in order while you’re rubbing your eyes to make sense of the culprit before you. It stares at you unblinking. It’s like a classic case of Paranormal activity gone wrong.
You Can See It Coming
As we said, family photos are the absolute worst! The shoot must have gotten on this dog’s nerves. It wanted to run freely across the yard and probably just roll on the lawn. When mommy wouldn’t let it, it decided to play a tug-of-war. You can guess how well this photoshoot went.
It’s a good thing none of the kids were holding on to mommy. That way, she wouldn’t have been the only member of the family wading in the water. We hope this photoshoot was coming to a close. Can you imagine how long it would have taken for mom to bathe, dry her hair, and reapply her makeup to finish the shoot?
Skeletons in the Backyard
Hello, operator. Yes, we would like to report an incident. We had just come home when we found our dog lying on the living room floor. We found it chewing something. At first, we thought it was munching on a stick, but it’s too big and ragged to be one. Could you send someone from the crime scene investigations office?
It seems like mommy has some skeletons in the backyard… where she’s thrown out all the beef bones. We shouldn’t be surprised that this dog took one, given its healthy appetite. But why did it have to put it inside dad’s old sneakers? That leg looks like it’s on the run!
A Beast On The Prowl
In today’s news, citizens have reported that a Bengal Tiger is on the prowl. The local zoo has alerted the authorities. There had been an electrical glitch. They claim that the cameras went defunct around the same time the tiger was able to walk out the gate. Fortunately, the glitch only affected the Bengal Tiger’s pen. Here, you can see a picture of the predatory feline.
Really, it had just been an overweight dog waiting for its owner. More treats to come! The shadow of the grilled fence cast the striped lines over its healthy coat. So many people sprinted the moment they saw this dog lying on the curb. They figured it’s best to get a headstart!
Such A Good Boy
Dogs are like pirates. They go scouring the backyard for treats and treasures. They don’t have to raise their sails or refer to a map. Their tails will wag, their ears will prick up, and their noses will lead the way. In a jiffy, this dog was able to rush to mom with a treasure in tow.
It almost looks like some mummified relic. Its golden color shone in the sunlight and it was as heavy as your phone. But it just might be a pupa of a large, flying beetle – the Oryctes nasicornis. The European rhinoceros beetle can damage plant roots and live under rotting bark. What would you do if your dog gave you this treasure?
Remind You of CatDog
In the ’90s, there was this late-night cartoon show named CatDog. This pet had a long, sleek body. On one end of it was a cat and on the other a dog. As you can imagine, this hybrid got into all sorts of misadventures – pretty much like this dog did.
You must have had to look twice to make sense of the picture. Otherwise, you would have been rushing towards the dog, making sure that it was alive. We were in disbelief too! How could it be calmly looking at you – as if to say, what’s up? I got us some timber.
That’s A Whole Load of Fur
Did you know that observing your cat’s tail is a great way to decode your cat? Watch them whisk it around and you’ll know if it’s in the mood to play, to feed, or to rest. Their tails have a number of bones and muscles. So yes, when you accidentally step on them, they have good reason to shriek and claw you.
You can only imagine the look of concern etched on this woman’s face. She had seen her cat striding from one room into the kitchen. She decided to prepare a snack for them both when she found roughly two inches of “tail” lying around. Don’t worry, it’s just felt-covered wire.
Simon says was a fad in the 70s. It had originally come from Rome, back in the days of Marcus Cicero. This statesman was fond of issuing decrees. If he bids you do something, do it! Otherwise, you might end up with a lopped off head or a severed limb.
In this case, Simon says, bring me a furry leg. That teddy bear wouldn’t budge. So this fur dog showed him who was boss. It had been a clean-cut – no cotton laying around. He neatly tucked it under his chest for everyone to see. Look at him, sitting on that velvet cushion – a true-born royal!
Where’d The Hooves Go
There’s never a dull moment on this farm. You’ve got to change the water daily, replenish the feed, mow the lawn and sweep the shed clean. From time to time, you’d have to shear sheep and then check on the pigs. With the number of animals on a farm, there’s never a lull! But one afternoon, this owner came across the horse like this.
For a split second, she had felt pure shock. It rippled throughout her body until she saw the horse raise its head and whip its tail. For the animals, it was nap time in the pasture. It was a well-deserved rest after this horse was gelded. No wonder it wasn’t making as much fuss as it had in the past.
Where’d He Go?
Everyone has been looking for the derp household cat. He’s almost always up to no good. Last week he had broken all the vases in the middle of the night. Everyone thought a burglar had crept in. This time the derp cat had staged his own abduction. Where had he gone?
Hiding in plain sight! Everyone tried to follow the mew-ing sounds he was making. It seemed louder upstairs, but once they got there, it seemed like he was purring faintly. Imagine coming across this on the way back down. You would have either stepped on him or dodged that derp cat and landed with a few broken bones. We knew he was up to no good!
Talk About Manners
This girls sweet sixteen was nearing. Her parents booked a caterer for the event and invited nearly everyone for her birthday. It had been a blast! There was a stream of gifts left near the house’s corner, and everyone was dancing to the music. She and her brothers thought it would be a good idea to have a group picture. They jumped on the count of three…
To frame their dog busily taking a dump. Talk about manners, aye? Guess he couldn’t hold it in. From the looks of it, he might have had too much corn. That one always gets us up and running to the toilet. We hope this ordeal ended quickly. We would have given that dog another round of treats!
Hear Him Laugh
This woman couldn’t stop tossing and turning in bed. She could hear scratches outside her door. She called out to her cat, who she thought had been in bed with her. The scratches continued. Soon, she heard hisses and spits. She quickly turned on the light and found that the cat slipped outside the bed and had cozied up on the top of the cupboard. It was summoning the living undead.
Humans? You mean slaves! Soon we will have them by the throats brethren! What say you? It raised one paw and slammed it down as if to end its rhetoric. Its teeth were bared in the moonlight. As it saw its owner from her vantage point, that smile turned into a hiss. Your days are numbered hooman.
Bless My Heart
You might feel like you’re in for a slump after a hearty meal. Your eyelids grow heavy, your breath becomes strained, and you can barely see over the bump that you call your stomach. Chances are, you’ll find yourself drifting off to sleep like this critter.
When her owner first saw him like this, she immediately took him in her cupped hand, which stirred him awake. It turns out he was sleeping that whole time. That’s his favorite nook, and you’ll rarely find him sleeping in another position. Now, her owner watches his chest rise and fall just to be sure.
Just Keeping the Floor Dry
This dog has a habit of chewing on things around the house. Most days, it’s a pair of sneakers, other times, it’s a chair’s leg, and occasionally it will toy with paper. It’s just a way to pass the time before it drifts off to sleep. By the time it wakes up, mum will be at the door.
His mom choked with disbelief. That gulp of saliva stuck in her throat. It was enough to cause this dog’s ears to prick up and rouse it from its sleep. Whap the bedevil ith going on? A piece of the tissue paper stuck to one of its canine teeth. He cleared his throat, and in the next second. that pulp fell to the floor. He probably just wanted to keep the floor dry with that tissue paper.
Feed On Your Sinful Souls
Evil takes the form of a cat. It slithers and slinks against the shelves, pushing objects out of its way. The shatter of glass trumpets its arrival. People flock to the scene. They stare fixedly at the cat, who tells them I’m every nightmare you’ve ever had. I’m your worst dream come true!”
Looks like Pennywise, doesn’t it? Well, with its orange, fringed coat and its ruthless eyes, we might say it is him. This is the stuff of nightmares. It always times its arrival in the dead of the night. If you want this to stop, you have got to remove that wooden perch.
Of all the seasons, spring seems to be the most dangerous for pets – what with hay fever and insects to look out for. Well, one afternoon, this dog had begged his fur mom a snack. His mom was too busy cooking. From the corner of his eye, he saw something buzzing. It smelled like food. It must be food.
In a couple of minutes, he came back looking like he had stuffed a whole pack of Frankfurters in his mouth. What’s popping? He tried to tell his mom what had happened, but she had gone for the phone. He heard her say book an appointment, and that he was going to get a shot for the swelling. We have a feeling this dog won’t be going for bees for his afternoon snack ever again.
What Did You Say Hooman?
You either choose to embody a cat or dog-mindset. If you try to serve a dog, they will treat you with the utmost respect. They will only be loyal to you, and they will give up their lives for your safety. On the other hand, if you try to serve a cat, they will think they are your master. What did you say, hooman?
“Did I give you permission to speak? If I must remind you, your very existence depends on me. I can either claw you as you sleep, or grace you a few seconds each day with my presence. Choose carefully, hooman. You might live to regret it.”
Look Who Has Gone For The Kill
This furball had gone in for a kill. Its victim is not what you would expect. Her fur mom immediately scanned the room, wondering if there was a rat nearby or if her dog had bitten anything sharp. It had. Those four corners of the tube glistened.
It was the latest shade of lipstick. And she had only been able to use it once. Apparently, her fur ball wanted to try it on too. Could it be because of the flavored scent it gave off? Whatever it was, it had given this furball a humorous idea to prank mom and scare her to death.
The next time you go to a Catholic prep high school, stay away from the trio of outcast teenagers. They’re almost always involved in something dangerous. This Husky learned a little too late when she befriended this coven of witches. Here you can see them performing an incantation.
With limitless power comes limitless walks! Now is the time. This is the hour. Ours is the magic. Ours is the power! Bit by bit, their collars and leashes dissolve. Nancy, one of the dogs, raises her snout and howls. At last, the ceremony is completed. We don’t think those spray bottles will work on these Huskies any longer.
Boundaries, What Boundaries?
This woman was minding her business when she saw an unfamiliar snout peeking from under the bathroom stall. It sniffed the ground gingerly and then sneezed. She had wondered whose snout it had belonged to and what it needed from her. Company, hooman, company!
Who knew dogs didn’t have any boundaries? What had been worse was that this was a stranger’s dog! Sure, you needn’t worry about it seeing your privates. But we bet you’d stop mid-stream if you saw a dog crawl from under the bathroom stall. Talk about boundaries!
Found In His Lair
There are many things that go bump in the night. If you so much as let your hands dangle from the edge of the bed, you risk being clutched down and ensnared by the Boogeyman. If you use the toilet down the hall, you risk encountering this monster in his lair.
But with all things, these monsters disappear at first light. The Boogeyman you desperately fought off turned out to be a couple of unlaundered items of clothing. The monster living down the hall is just your derp cat. To him, you are the monster that has sprung out from your lair.
Talk About Priorities
Everyone had come from different states for a family reunion. There were hugs, smiles, and many toasts. Of course, no family reunion could be complete without memorabilia. So they gathered for a shoot. The only thing that’s giving us a heart attack in this picture is how they kept on smiling.
Never mind that the dog was targeting the youngest kid. The most important thing we can do as a family is to carry on with this shoot. We have to appear like the lighthearted family that we are. We can always give that kid an anti-rabies shot afterward.
If you thought cats were possessive, then the same holds true for dogs. Could you blame them? They remain loyal to a few good people. They would sleep lightly and stand guard while you sleep. If they feel like their place by your hearth or in your heart is at stake, they will gladly show your fiancee who’s boss.
Move over, Karen. There’s only one space for my owner and me, and that’s reserved for me. Besides, yellow isn’t the most flattering color for you, unlike how it is for me. Move over, or you’re going to get a double whammy on both cheeks!
Dressed For Halloween
Lately, this dog had been aggressive. It would mark its territory by chomping on chair legs. It had almost chewed through all the furniture when his mum decided to put a muzzle on him. Guess who bought the muzzle? It was Dad.
We can only imagine what he thought about the muzzle issue. He probably wanted their dog to participate in the treatment. Mum says, you’ve got to stop biting the chair legs. But to ease the blow, how about you choose the design that works for you. Great sentiment! Mum received the message.
Center of Attention
This couple seems pretty content with their family. He has a stable job, whereas she is a stay-at-home wife. They have two children – one is six years old, and the other is a full-fledged adult. They wanted a family portrait they could decorate the walls of their home with. Here, you can see who among the two children is the real center of attention.
Anyone can see there’s real cause for concern here. But it seems like the kid is the only person who has the common sense to admit it. Other kids simply want their blankie. This one craves for physical safety – what with a python dangling around dad’s neck and slithering behind her.
You Whoof(Too) Will Float
He bares his buck-teeth in a sardonic grin. Despite his smile, you feel your shoulders tighten and your heartbeat quicken. He holds his hand out, inviting you to come closer. He notices that you remained in place. The hulking figure slowly takes a few steps towards you. He murmurs something, and you’re able to make sense of it – they float, and when you’re down here with me, you’ll float too!
Just look at those nails! With every step, he takes, his nails screech against the stones. It’s painful, looking at them. Those are probably the most haunting piece in this picture. Can someone take Pennywhoof to the vet? Have him sail his boat alone. Nobody here wants to float.
In Your Face
We used to think that stress and surprises can trigger a heart attack. Studies have shown otherwise. Experts claim that you’re at risk for one if you’re a smoker, you’re overweight, or if you have a sedentary lifestyle. We disagree. This man had one when he was subjected to a stressful subject.
At least his cat got him off the couch. Sedentary lifestyle no more! Judging from the look on his face, the feline had probably passed gas. It continued to wag its tail without a care in the world. The slow fan of its tail propelled the gas further up his nose. Kitty says, this show must come to a close.
Where’s The Rest Of Him?
In the age of social media, photography is considered fine art. There are a lot of things to consider to come up with the perfect shot – lighting, subject, frame size, and angles, just to name a few. If you don’t believe us, look how a misdirected shot can make your dog look like he had been decapitated.
Where’s the rest of him, your brain might have asked. You needn’t worry. He’s alive and barking at the moment. It’s just that this shot isn’t the most flattering picture…of his head. Guess his owner could take up photography lessons or something.
If you notice anything odd happening around your house, it’s best to call the Winchester brothers. They’re professional marksmen. What’s their target? Ghouls, demons, and shapeshifters! Their weapon of choice depends on what they’re dealing with. That is why when we heard a series of scratches and bangs in the middle of the night, we didn’t hesitate to give them a ring.
We should probably call the appointment off. There’s nothing paranormal going on in here. It’s just our cat being the derp that he is. The last thing that we want is the Winchesters hunting this thing down. Think of all that effort that will go to waste for a couple of regurgitated furballs and catnips!
That’s Gotta Hurt
The weather forecast said it would be sunny today. These folks went on a walk to see how it would turn out. Grateful for the cool air and the kindly weather, they decided to have their picture taken on their front porch. They wanted to keep it simple, but their dog had other plans for the shoot.
Say cheese! More like cheese-us Christ, that must have hurt! This dad cowered in pain and swatted that doggo away. He felt the dog’s jaws bite harder before letting go. Those few seconds felt like eternity. Someone get that dog a leash…and dad some ice cubes?