40 Funny Blunt People Who Tell It As It IsBy Olajide O
Engaging in small talk might be a redeeming quality for some people in sustaining relationships or those working in sales. Unfortunately, however, it is not a strong suit for many others. These people seem to have no chill and tend to be brutally honest without even feeling the need to read the room. On a bad day, they can be despicable, but otherwise, they can prove to be quite funny and genuine. It might be a good thing to damn small talk and grab the bull by the horns once in a while. Sarcastic and quick-minded people are some of the funniest humans on the planet, as long as you stay on their good side. From calling out someone for doing exactly what they’ve requested others not do to blasting someone for atrocious spelling, the internet is filled with dozens of examples of such occurrences, which we will be looking at here.
Dooming them all
This looks like children’s material, doesn’t it? The book, famously known as The Rainbow Fish, has graced all our libraries. But after reading the sign and realizing what exactly the text is saying, on second thought, this is not the book we grew up with.
Thinking about it, a rainbow fish would make easy prey for predators in the water. We don’t know much about marine biology or anything remotely related to it. The message requires no technical knowledge, by the way. A horrific story retold in colors.
The purple marker is mine
Here is an actual argument about who owns what? A purple marker! We don’t see anything special about the marker that generated so much heat between the two people vying for it. One thing is sure, one of them is either a thief, or he’s got to be the owner.
The owner doesn’t seem to be interested in going out to replace the marker. The thief’s motive is somehow beyond our comprehension. Why does he want it so bad? It seems to be falling into a stereotypical Disney plot. They might make a movie about it someday.
No flyers allowed
Talk about poetic justice; here’s a flyer issued to warn people about posting, well, flyers. The idea behind it completely flies over your head when you stop to think about it, doesn’t it? It is as ironic as throwing a bottle inside a river with a note warning against water pollution.
It says a lot about the person’s wisdom who thought it was cool to use a flyer to warn others that flyers were not allowed. More kudos go to the person who wrote back, reminding them that “this is also a flyer.” You deserve an award!
Exhibit one on your left
Sleek work, we will give them that. But then the sign is a little off with the warning sign summarizing how bad an idea it is to disobey the warning and then waste money losing a lot of money. Maybe in the event of litigation, they will boldly claim that they left one big red signboard.
So much bluntness in one image. We think the usual “Warning! Please keep off!” danger signs would be less awkward. Well, this one is large and easy to read. It is a little too wordy! The dumbest random civilian can’t miss it as long as they can read…
Just clean your hands
This sign goes straight to the point without any beating around the bush. It is concise and straightforward, with no need to mince it with some vague meaning. It is probably one of the clearest on this list. The writer didn’t have anything to hide in clarifying things.
If you hate something, it is best to let the world know, the designer of the sign thought to himself. Handwashing is crucial, and we don’t think adults have to be told this. The reminder might just be well deserved, we’ll agree.
Don’t tell me what to do
Most people, or shall we say everyone, dislikes being told what to do. But then I guess we all reach a point where what you are told is all you can do. This child (we decided based on the handwriting) has a bit of beef to settle with Snow White.
The child must have been sick and tired of being told what to do; after all, the parents do that every minute of the day. “Jake, do this,” “Martha, don’t do that,” and even endure some spanking to go with it. Here is a rare case where a child takes offense and says, “No, I won’t do this!”
Confirmation from the owner
Rarely do you see business owners give reviews of their companies. But if it so happens that a restaurant owner opts to eat at their establishment and drop a thought; the food must be worth eating then. There can be no bias at all. If the owner doesn’t eat there, why should anybody else?
How he shared his review was quite hilarious, though. A handwritten review by CEOs about their products is quite rare. I bet if the chalk fades, they will write it again. Maybe it was just a funny stunt to draw customers’ attention, like some Confucious quote. It doesn’t sound like a bad strategy at all.
No chill about graduation
When your parents support you, you shouldn’t feel ashamed. We understand that some parents can be pretty overprotective and overbearing. How about a parent that takes it towards the extreme, not in a wrong way.
But great enthusiasm can embarrass the child a little, which is when it gets a little over the top. The child must have thought the same when the dad went nuts with excitement about the graduation. He seems like a great dad, though, with all his passion.
What did Cody do?
Ah-ha! Come here, let’s have a good laugh. Who the hell is Cody, and just what did he do? Or better still, what didn’t he do? This is quite the embarrassment to have your name printed boldly on-screen, praising everybody except you IF you are Cody.
Cody seems to have had it coming for a while, but this could be taking things a little too far, letting the world know what a lousy worker Cody was. Well, it is of no concern to us. Cody is the one who needs to do a better job as is expected of him.
Brighter than her future
Usually, this would pass as some pretty savage dragging on Twitter by some random blokes who are out to shame you for not having ambitions. What do we now say about someone who decided not to take things easy on herself? I could get angry and probably punch them if anyone told me this.
However, when someone decides to be hard on herself, there is nothing you can say or do, even if it seems like the person took it a bit too far. She commented that her computer screen shines brighter than her future. That’s some cruel evaluation of oneself, don’t you think?
Don’t use plastic knives.
It doesn’t matter what you choose to use, plastic or metal; they can be good and bad. In the case of knives, plastic just doesn’t cut it as a material. A plastic knife may be good enough for some things but definitely not with pizza.
We don’t know who thought it a good idea to tag the cups as they are. The message was as clear as day and had a big warning against the misuse of plastic knives. We have to protect the plastic utensils from the hard-crusted pizza.
Not a picture of Jesus
Jesus is quite the historical figure that none of us has ever seen, but society has a view of what Jesus is supposed to look like. The image here represents another example of what society thinks Jesus should look like. It seems like everyone has a personal vision of Jesus.
We don’t have to dive into history on this one. The daughter in this picture was quick to tell her mother that it ain’t a picture of Jesus. But that’s a good-looking man in that picture. It sure is an image of Jesus you will find nowhere else.
Having a good time
Here’s something with an interesting backstory that, unfortunately, we are in the dark about. Postcards are a means of sending messages to your loved ones while we are on vacation. But that’s not the case here; Barbara seems to be trying quite hard to show Jimmy that she is not missing him.
What did Jimmy do, though? A bad breakup? Barbara is a lady with something to prove to Jimmy. We cannot help but bite our fingers out of curiosity about what he might have done to warrant this. Maybe they had a bet, and she was just making good on it.
We missed you, mommy
Some of us remember how it always felt to see our mother after a long day. It is a precious moment, especially when her children have missed her. You can imagine the excitement they must have even to create a custom sign. They have mixed in a bit of comedy, though.
You will find a couple of extra pieces of information on the cardboard informing their mum that they don’t have any underwear on. You might ask whether their father did a good job caring for them. We guess he is responsible for the sign!
A very ironic sign
The famous tagline “If you can’t beat them, you may as well join them” never gets old. And in this case, it is a good selling point for a guitar tutor who thought it would be a bright idea to prey on people’s insecurities. It’s a sweet irony, though! We don’t know if you get it.
This would make more sense to anyone who has ever lost a catch to the guitarist. The irony is you are a guitarist, claiming that if people want to start getting all the women too, they should become that type of man. We can’t help but wonder how many people he has managed to enroll with this sign.
Validation for prettiness
The world we live in today has embraced the full benefits of online dating. A more glorified way of blind dating has met the general acceptance of the world at large. Tinder is the most popular of all the go-to dating apps.
If you are set to go long-term, you might find like-minded people there too. However, you will meet many people just there for a good time. What we think about this doesn’t matter, and this lady’s response is evidence of what some people look for on the platform.
You had one job
The expression “You had one job” is known to many of us. One statement is uttered when there is a big screwup over what might be the only thing someone was asked to do and failed woefully. Let us use this example to understand such a situation.
The instruction on this machine clearly warns anyone trying to clean the device from pressing any button at all without seeing him first. But then someone chose to press the buttons anyway and left a note saying that he did.
The glory of spellcheck
An excellent spell check can save you a world of trouble, but most people find it quite laborious. Grammarly has your work cut out for you, and you can easily avoid catastrophic-level mistakes. It is so easy to mistype these days over our sleek smartphone screens, and when you make such mistakes on the internet, it stays there forever.
After the misspell error with the word danger turning to ‘danegr,’ the maintenance team opted to leave another note admitting the mistake in the first one rather than fixing or replacing the message. All the warnings indicate that something as awful as an explosion might happen if you sit on it.
Accurately reviewing Home Alone
You didn’t have a fun childhood if you never watched Home Alone. It is one of the most iconic movies for kids of all time. But the movie was definitely not fun for everyone. Here are comments dropped by a reviewer who had probably watched the movie about two decades ago.
You probably have watched the film, and you know how it goes. Hence, this comment is well understood. Kevin, the protagonist, ends up doing a truckload of damage to his home and to the crooks who tried to break in.
Taking things a bit too literally
Who doesn’t love photo apps? You can do anything you want to do with a photo app, can’t you? Applying the most unusual effects is a gloss. This daughter opted to add a little flair to her picture with a wreath of flowers around her head.
And the father thought, “Yes, I can make it real,” and grabbed a bouquet of identical flowers and wore it for his photoshoot. The expression on his face, though, ah-ha, comic! It seems like the face you make when you catch someone making passes at your daughter.
Too many fries sale
People love free stuff, and if not free, they love the money they get to save from every discount they can lay their hands upon. This grocery shop got more than it bargained for, but they made a move first by trying to explain why some fries are cheaper.
Without the sign, we don’t think anyone would care to ask any questions about why they were having the sale. Most people would only care that they could get fries for a dollar and are only curious about the limit of purchases per family.
Just come to church
Talking about religion is a kind of minefield, but we are not getting anywhere near the sensitive stuff. Our eyes are on what this sign right here says. Apparently, it is an invite to come to church but missing the usual church content.
There’s always a bit of motivation or word of encouragement, but this looks a whole lot like someone got tired of putting such on the billboard. And decided to be blunt and straightforward as heaven. We don’t think any message could have been any clearer.
Because ghosts aren’t real
We are not here to debate whether ghosts are real or not. It is a bonkers argument fit for discussion on an auspicious day. The child in this subtraction test doesn’t believe in the existence of ghosts. Otherwise, the arithmetic in there is not adding up at all.
It seemed like a simple piece of math, but the child opted to be funny about it. We are trying to imagine the expression on the face of the teacher once they see the answer. The teacher would get a good laugh out of it, just like we did.
Directions for the toilet
One of the things we rarely think about is that some people need to be taught how to use the toilet. Not in the sit correctly or don’t poo on the floor, but diverse bathrooms have different flushing systems. And it can be not very pleasant when you can’t figure it out.
We guess this is one of those toilets where we have to leave a sign to let people know which button to press and where. Knowing what “number two” means when in the bathroom is essential. We are hoping this clears up any confusion.
Put the child in the bed
Parents, don’t make the mistake this guy made. The father was asked to put the baby to bed, and he did just that. We don’t think the mother was happy to see that the father literally put the baby straight to bed on this occasion.
Maybe she still doesn’t find it funny, though she posted it. She might have a good eye for jokes and get a good laugh. Let’s credit the father for trying to attend to the baby, although he might have mishandled the entire situation.
Finding the selfie stick
What is so bad about a selfie stick that made Britney issue what we think will be a heartrending heartbreak? It is obviously not the first time she has hit him with a warning note, and now it got so bad that she made a big sign.
The two guys to the right of the sign seem to be having a good laugh. It is right in front of them, and if nobody else sees that, they have front row seats to what is likely an entertaining drama about to unfold. We are not sure that Simon knows what’s coming for him.
Not responsible for choking
This kind of sign makes you pause and think deeply about what has happened that led to the creation of the sign. It is a sign for a hot dog vendor, and boy, did they have any issue with customers who tried to sue them for choking.
Did it get as bad as people getting admitted to the hospital and eventually dying because they choked on hot dogs? We don’t know, but anything could have happened to have made the installation of this sign quite the necessity to avoid lawsuits.
An anchor that refuses to sink
First of all, we think this tattoo is beautiful, and the design concept is fabulous. But amidst all that, we can’t help but poke a needle at it to see if everything about it can hold water. Someone did half the job for us with that comment.
The tagline “refuse to sink” totally goes against the anchor itself. It is designed to sink; it is called an anchor just for that purpose. The tagline is odd, to say the least, and we just don’t know where to place the idea of an anchor not sinking. The tattoo is still pretty, though. Love it.
To the exact amount
The detail is a little bit extra. It is nice, by the way, to have a product that is telling us the exact value right down to the decimal as opposed to some marketing stunt that could as well be one big lie to get you to buy the product. We say this because not all products can present such info to customers.
It is unclear what precisely the 2.8 times refill value means to different people who buy the products, and there is no possible way that we would get to know. Kudos to the manufacturer for at least trying to be explicit about the refill procedure.
The power of Google
The average person understands that most times, Google, not the cops is your friend. Google is a powerful and valuable tool for accessing any and all types of information. But, can it replace years of dedicated research and study? This sign is out to prove that point.
Google might have a little bit of info about everything, but it is no hard-earned certification. Through Google, you can give medical advice, but you cannot pose as a real doctor. Despite the famous saying “everyone is a doctor,” there is a huge difference. Google is making a genius out of everyone, and that’s a new one.
The struggle to build money
Being an adult might just be the craziest thing, don’t you agree? Looking at the lives of others, you might think it is all pretty easy, but once in a while, everyone has it hard with their struggles. Adults cannot get their thoughts beyond laying their hands on some cash, and some get pretty desperate.
The ones who do not get carried away still need money regardless. Seeing such a comment like this one will get you giggling to yourself. It is hard to build wealth with expenses coming at you from every direction. It is never easy to be an adult.
Dealing with the scratch
Children can range from naughty little devils to mini angels depending on what color of the day they are having, which is an everyday thing. It’s incredible how much energy they have to do what they do. We were once children, too, and find it hard to believe we engaged in similar actions.
Let’s pause a bit and admit the fact that we never expected that a child would be able to generate an answer to the problem in the photo. Ah-ha! The answer is blunt, concise, and damn right, hit the nail on the head level of hilarious. The child has found a way to deal with injuries on the playground.
Never going to let it go
This dad is a pretty funny man who’s having a good laugh at his daughter’s new tattoo. There’s some funny stuff in that photo right there, as you can see. We see him imitating her pose with a real knife to match the knife tattoo she got—a typical day in the life of father and daughter.
Apparently, the young woman hid the tattoo for a long time, probably to avoid her dad getting just like this. The man should be a stand-up comedy act, probably making her regret having the tattoo already. She should have told him from the get-go; he probably would have stopped the gimmicks earlier. He won’t stop torturing her with this anytime soon.
The dog paid for its ticket
I know you want to say, “lmao.” The account with the pseudonym “Dog on a Plane” is probably trying to show us how possible a dog can set up a social media page and comment on an image that clearly asks why it is on the plane. Unless that’s not how exactly it went down!
An alternative scenario is someone has nothing important to do and decides to crop the photo and use it as a profile pic, alters their social media handle name, and trolls the person who took the picture. Makes more sense, doesn’t it? The dog looks lost, though, like, “I don’t want to be here.”
Please hire taller staff
A not so rare case of people taking stuff quite literally. It might have been just for fun, but we think the point was made anyway. Felt like an excellent wordplay to mess around with your friends who have a good sense of humor.
It would be demeaning and dumb of us to assume that you do not know what the phrase “short staff” means. In our view, the person who left the note is a practical joker with some wit, and yeah, he really needs a taco.
Time to marry my finance
It must feel great to be a finance. At least you get to provide funds for something; we all want to do that at some point. But on second thoughts, didn’t she mean to type fiancé? It sure sounds like a more fitting alternative.
We’ve had a good laugh at this mistake. But it would be nice to see the expression on her face when she realizes how she mistyped “finance” for “fiancé.” If she did marry someone named finance for real, money would never be a problem, would it?
Blaming it on Todd
What did Todd do that would have warranted the cancellation of a thoroughly planned event. We hope we do not come off as a bit of a sadist that all we care about is whatever they say Todd did. You need to understand our curiosity about how much power he holds that he canceled the entire night.
Maybe he stole all the lightsabers meant for everyone and hid it all away, then came out to show his ingenuity. He seems like someone scorned looking to get some revenge. A lightsaber night sounds pretty cool, though, if it actually happened. No thanks to Todd!
Sorry for your loss
You only get to see a card tagged “sorry for your loss” when there’s a tragedy, say, you lose a loved one, and the sympathy cards keep rolling in. Issuing a card like this to a company is quite odd. These are the words of someone who has nothing to lose by leaving the company.
Todd must feel so great about himself that this was the most comfortable way to tell his company that he would be leaving. At least he gave them a three-week notice; some other people tend to give the standard two weeks while a few others barely stay up to that.
Just like your father
Some children tend to grow up to think and act like their parents. As the saying goes, “The apple never strays too far from the tree” this mother completely agrees. Apparently, the child has been stealing, and she thinks the child is just like the father.
The issue here is not of that magnitude and all for good fun. We think the request for $250 is a little outrageous, and it’s definitely not a loan. The mother would not have it, though, with an epic response that would go down in history. We are sure the child will never stop telling this story.
Not the most favorite
Only adults have the luxury of trying to dribble around matters; a child has no chill at all. Their thought process is entirely different from ours, and they act just as they feel and say what’s on their mind regardless of how everyone else is feeling.
These students have not resisted the urge to let their teacher know that even though they liked her, they didn’t think she was the best teacher. The teacher must appreciate the mischievous act of honesty and at least the little credit she was given.